4:12 a.m. - Nov. 23, 2002
...i better fix my head before i let that shit destroy me...

what it comes down to is your own judgement of how much something affects you....

the greatest love of my life could give less of a shit about me------she has her veritable pick of the litter of fine suitors..........but to me the only thing that matters is she is the love of my life----------sure everything could be worse off----i could be poor and addicted to some drug and worthless and have nothing----but at this point in my life this is a great low--no matter how you slice it life can always be worse than it is and anyone can say 'cheer up it could be worse' but that is a fuckign stupid way to look at it..........your life is horrible----everything is shit----there isn't any meaning to anything----all you believe in has disappeared and all you care about has fucked you in the ass..............sure i'm depressed and sure i could be more depressed but what it comes down to is this is how i seriously feel right now whether or not its the worst anyone has ever felt and this is how i feel right now whether or not it is bad at all and this is how i feel whether or not anyone cares...

and this is just how i fucking feel and this------it's just how i fucking feel.

before ~ after