3:24 a.m. - Nov. 15, 2002
...who cares who sees anything...

and i'm sitting here---like always
and i'm trying to not feel anything
and i'm not doing so well

pain--emptiness--numb--sadness---i've said all this before and it still means what it always did...but somethings different now---

and i dont care
maybe moreso than i let myself know
i just dont care at all anymore
full metal jacket comes to mind---the thousand mile stare-----i catch myself wearing this face all too often lately-------i am in a world of shit...

and i feel some sort of comfort in this smooth tragic scream---and i want to join in this chorus of tragedy--to let it all go just for a moment---to release myself into the comfortable nothingness just for one short fleeting instant...

thats all i really want---i just want this all to end. just for a minute...a few seconds.....i want to smile again and really mean it...and for some reason i feel like i may never be able to.

roll the window down
this cool night air is curious
let the whole world look in
who cares who sees anything

before ~ after