11:47 p.m. - May. 12, 2003
...who cares who sees what tonight...

i find myself staring blankly like i used to...except now its with a whole new kind of desperation.....a whole new vicious longing for something i will never find-----my mind hanging there in the realization that all of life is simply an illusion and everything dissolves into emptiness with time--the realization that no matter how hard i try to convince myself that there is a reason why i should keep breathing------------really...there isn't. and really there isn't much reason in anything.

happiness is such a hopeless word.

fuck the world

before ~ after