3:31 a.m. - Oct. 24, 2006
...did i see a moment with you in a half lit world...

heh. i was just reading back through my old entries as i tend to do from time to time and i really liked this one...

it made me smile where as the other twenty or so made me kind of want to kill myself.

i guess i could say things are better these days but its all an issue of perspective really---i wouldn't go so far as to say things are good but they are definitely less desperate. i can't really say much has changed but i'm working on it. fulfilling the echoes of my desires one day at a time or some shit like that.

i'm still a sad sack of shit and i drink and fuck myself up every god damned day and i've got the same problems but i'm older and at least i'm progressing somewhat through life for the first time in a long fucking time.

on this day three years ago i sat in some nameless room pounding out sad epitaphs and anecdotes about how depressed and confusing my life was. i wont go so far as to say my life isn't depressed and confusing anymore but things are changing every day and for the first time in a long fucking time i sometimes enjoy waking up in the morning and amid the torrent of sickness and sadness in my heart there seems to still be some sort of semblance of a pulse.

so i've got time.
at least for now i make time.
but who knows.

things change, things stay the same.

before ~ after