11:04 p.m. - Jun. 19, 2005
...so sad, so strange, the days that are no more...

i've been reading and remembering the past four or some odd years of my life and i am now truly depressed. so many emotions and thoughts and memories passing so suddenly and so furiously through my mind they bring tears and smiles all at once. i want to write you a letter of love and loss and i want to scream and i want to drink and i want to die...and so much is gone now and so much is forgotten---these tiny memories alone carry such power in my heart and my head and i feel like i'll never see these times again.

sing us a song a song to keep us warm

whats to come i dont know and where i've been i know even less---but the past is fading and falling behind and i need to let go before it destroys me.

i know i'll always remember your smile and your kiss and your tears and everything intangible and i know i'll find it again somewhere else somehow no matter how impossible it seems right now...i need to just keep moving---too many bad decisions have passed---too many dues still need to be payed------too much left ahead to say it was the best.

so sad. so strange. the days that are no more.

before ~ after