7:18 p.m. - Oct. 24, 2003
...if i die---so be it...

sigh. that's all i really have to say... just a big deep sigh---a little relaxing pause from that whole 'holy fuck everything in the world is horrible and i just can't fucking bear it' feeling.

the best years of my life gone bye here i am alone and blue
some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love
but i just keep on rolling along with the praise from the lord above

i got puked on last night...i think thats kind of funny. sometimes i wish i could give myself blood alcohol tests...it just seems like its pretty normal for me to drink enough alcohol to kill a couple horses.

it'd be nice to know how many times i should have died. i'd like to keep score.

before ~ after