3:38 p.m. - Dec. 22, 2002
...everything is alone and dying...

i realized thismorning---when i woke up in a mysterious and familiar appartment---not knowing how or why i was there...the smell of rum and whiskey covering me...remembering backing into a fire hydrant---remembering being home and leaving---remembering all the stupidity and uncontrollable drinking---------i realized that i've got a problem that its time for me to deal with. so hello, my name is joe, and i'm an alcoholic...at the age of 18 its illegal for me to even carry a bottle of alcohol.......but i'm already more of an alcohlic than most people will ever be. and its even begining to scare me.

i just dont know anymore...i just dont know.

before ~ after