5:24 p.m. - Dec. 17, 2002
...why can't we just kill them all...

lately i've been getting by in life by not feeling anything---except maybe pain...either way i've been getting by by not feeling or caring about anything. and that's just suicide in tiny tiny doses.

i dont know what i'm doing anymore
i dont know how i'm feeling
i dont know what i'm thinking
i dont know my plans
i have no desires outside trivial things
i have no goals or final destinations

i just dont know anymore.

and i'm fine with that---its just another thing i'm going to have to deal with------and i'm fine with everything---fuck it all...fuck everything.

tonight i've got a flask of whiskey and all of eternity to figure all this shit out...

so here's to the good times tonight is mighty special

before ~ after